Blog Archive

Sunday, November 25, 2012

When Confronting Someone Isn't Beneficial

Generally speaking, we were taught to 'speak up', 'stand our ground', and let that particular person or people know that they are being annoying or displaying some form of being disrespectful.  However, that isn't always the answer.

What if that person does not care about how they 'offend' you after you made it known how you feel? Similar to a situation when a person is constantly using foul language and he feels like it's his right 'to say what comes out of his mouth'. Now, you're angrier at the level of disrespect this person is still displaying.

Other times, it can be that a person is oblivious to the fact that he is annoying.  Some people are harmless in their actions; but it, overall, is just annoying.  Similar to a person telling really bad jokes; that person wants to be funny and means well, but the jokes just aren't resonating with you.

However, what if you did nothing? What if you just let it go and give it up to God? How would that make you feel? After all, you have been taught that people are to respect you.  But, what if speaking up and standing your ground does not work?

Feeling angry that you are in this predicament and just want it all to go away is very natural. You may even have thoughts of locking that person in a room and throwing away the key! But, some things are out of our control and we don't want to lose our composure because of another person's inability to act accordingly.

Here are a few tips that have, seriously, worked for me when I realized that I cannot change a person or their behavior:
  • Close your eyes and center yourself by placing your feet firmly on the ground with a bit of space between them. 
  • Then, breathe, slowly and deeply until you feel a bit calmer.  
  • Next, ask Spirit to intervene by saying 'please help me to maintain my anger. 
  • Help me to remain centered and not allow these external issues to bother me, let it go around me.' 
  •  Last, say The Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Vent about it and then let it go:

Later in the day, I explained to my mom and my brother about the event which thoroughly annoyed me and how I did the above exercise in order to get myself back to normalcy. I did this because I'm a firm believer of vent about it and then let it go.

 I definitely did not want to keep those feelings bottled up and I also wanted to release the excess negative energy from my aura.  By venting and letting it go, I took care of the physical aspect of releasing negative emotions; by connecting with Spirit and saying a prayer, I took care of the spiritual aspect of releasing negative emotions.

I felt much better by the end of the day. Cleansing and releasing is a process!

This helped me beyond belief and right away. I can't express this enough.  I can, now, explain the event without getting angry.

Sometimes, it's just not worth the bother to confront someone because you're angry and frustrated; therefore, your judgment may be a bit illogical. You may say and/or do something that may be out of character for you or you may regret what you say and/or do altogether. Not to mention, that person may retaliate by purposefully getting on your nerves more! And, who wants to be in that situation?!


  1. Hello Tia
    I really like your philosophy on this. It can be easy to beat ourselves up when we dont stand up for ourselves. Vent and let it go - I am definitly going to remember that from now on!

    1. Thanks! It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I learnt it nonetheless!!

  2. Great post Tia - sometimes responding with anger can just make it worse for US. I love the reminder to 'let go and let God' - I don't know why I always remember that step LAST instead of first LOL. Often when we've let it go and we're calmer, we can then let the person know how they've stepped on our toes more effectively anyway because we're no longer attached to the outcome.
    Leanne x

  3. Your post is really timely for me--my partner and I have just been discussing strategies for dealing with a relative who can really get under our skin. It's important to realize that sometimes, 'doing nothing' and choosing not to make a confrontation can be the right approach.

  4. What a great post, Tia! I've experiemented a lot with different ways to handle angry or disrespectful people and I really like yours. Thank you for sharing. I'll give it a try next time.

    I LOVE the look of your website!

    Love, Karina