Blog Archive

Monday, October 15, 2012

When Moving on Means 'I'll Miss the Time When...'

We all reach that stage in a relationship, whether it's work or otherwise, when we feel like it's time to step up and move out, or up! Then, there is that moment when we think about the things we will miss, like shooting rubber bands at our co workers or cracking jokes.  But, in actuality, there is nothing to miss because that cycle of our life is over; and if we don't acknowledge that, then will find ourselves stuck in a 'place' that no longer exist.  The people around us will eventually move on, so why not you move on first.  No, it's not a race, but think about it for a minute.

Maybe you're receiving constant inclinations to start that business you thought about or maybe that documentary you always wanted to do.  Now, think, what if you neglected all those associated inclinations and stayed where you are now? You will eventually become sad. I know because I speak from experience.

When I decided to change my major a bit late in my college career, it resulted in me graduating in five years instead of four. My friends who started college with me graduated in the four year time frame and my other friends, who were a year ahead of me, had already graduated.  So, my fifth year was a bit boring.  It just wasn't the same culture, after all these were 90s babies and I'm an 80s baby!

My point is that it was just different. Not, totally bad.  The people were friendly and funny, but they weren't like my old friends.  In fact I was the 'old head' and kept myself busy with other work.

The truth is my time, my 'college cycle', was now over and I had overstayed my welcome.  And, that is what it will feel like if you don't pursue your goals, aspirations, dreams, and the list goes on...

You will feel uncomfortable with yourself and your surroundings and when you see others who have moved on you will feel a little sad. I know I did when my friends left! I was happy for them and very proud of them graduating, but I knew that they were moving on to the next phase of their lives.  Therefore, there was nothing to miss! That place, those people, and the events are all great memories, but I would be living in a not so pleasant fantasy world if I would try to perpetuate that.

It's time for new places, people, events and so forth!

I also realized that people change often so that person or people who you were 'cool with' in college may have a different perspective on things after college...and then there are people who are still stuck in that college mindset trying to relive the past.

So, next time you think about pursuing something and your mind starts to think about things such as:
  • what will they do without me? 
  • What will the place be like without me?
  •  I will miss fill in the blank,
Remember they will survive, the place will go on, but you will not if you don't allow yourself to grow, even if that means you will have to 'leave' a place and people because when you do reach your appropriate destination, none of that will matter!
Plus, just about everyone has Facebook and/or Twitter. So, just message and tweet them every so often!


  1. So very true. I felt this way about leaving my day job, as I did love most of my co-workers, but I knew it was time for a new chapter. I also plan on moving out of the country next year, which is crazy scary! I will miss my family and I'm sure there will be culture shock, but if that's what the next chapter is, so be it.

  2. So true...thinking about leaving and missing what is, it's a red herring! A few times in the past I haven't moved on when I first felt I should...and then the people I would have missed most went, leaving me there! A good lesson to learn. When it's time to move on, move on! x

  3. How did you know I am thinking of moving jobs? ;-)

    This is really very much spot-on for me at this time in my life. The job I used to love has changed in some ways I don't appreciate, and I realised that I feel stuck and have so much more to offer... But there are the things I'll miss. They are there, but I will *not* let them hold me back.

    Thanks for this, Tia!

  4. Yes, ladies, you are so right! It isn't always easy, but the major "stuff" isn't always easy to begin with, unfortunately!